Friday, May 28, 2010

The theory

After all what I have encountered, I've finally realised something which is very important.

Two days ago I had a very long conversation with my ex-gf's sister. She is a korean. We talked about a lot of things, and shared a lot of thoughts together. Things like her life and my life and mainly about relationship. I also took the occasion to ask a little about my ex-gf, but there were only little of informations I could pull. I wasn't really interested to know about her, I asked only as a manner of courtesy.

That is not the main thing I wish to share here, the thing that I want to share is what I discerned or discovered from during our lengthy conversation.

I realised that Love doesn't have to start with Like.
Because what I had been telling her was, there are some people who aren't really nice looking, but there are able to find and have their own partner. The thing to justify this is, that girl probably didn't like him at the first place, but the guy probably put a lot of effort in chasing her, eventually he sort of succeeded in making her touched, and the feeling that the girl have is probably love.

I said that in spontaneous when she told me that if she doesn't like a person it means end of the story. But I think the opposite, because I have seen a lot of examples where ugly guy or ugly girl gets a good looking gf or bf. It's not because they are rich or something, that factor should be precluded because I knew they were not rich.

But then, later after that, I discovered another thing again: Hate or dislike can start with Like.
That is also true because I'm one of the victims. That happens when the opposite doesn't get what they want in return. I'm however not that kinda person, unless that girl is just playing with my feeling, then it might be plausible for me to hate her a little bit. In general I wont and never hate a person that I like before. I don't need to explain further, it's enough if you feel this is possible, if you don't then it's ok. Just keep in mind of my point.

So if Love doesn't have to start with Like, and Hate or Dislike can start with Like.
Is that So Important To Like A Person?

To love a person is something that we can't explain completely, there's a possibility to love a person who doesn't really meet your expectations. That possibility exists when that person possesses an overwhelming determination and love towards a person. Therefore, love is sort of infectious, in the sense that it infects the person it wants to, but not necessary successful all the time.

So here I'm denouncing my previous theory that says we should like people based on their look.
I formulated and proposed a lot of theories regarding that topic, I think I have closed that post because right now I'm not entirely agreed with it.
I even went so far to propound that we should choose people based on their look because of their Genes or DNA factor. But it was mainly about the point that we shouldn't lower our expectations, requirements, and standard, in choosing our gf or bf.

But right now I think I was wrong, since I realised love doesn't have to start with like, although it may start with like, from one point of view, my previous theory is crumbled with that possibility. (But I still believe my previous theory is not entirely wrong)

I have known what I have to do in the future. I shall not repeat my past wrongs.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

A picture of us

Time will fade the colour of this picture...

I finally realised that even that I like everything about a person, I might not like the person itself.

I feel nothing when everything is clear.

Hope I can meet another person like her, but she will be the one that can make my heart pounds and make me happy when she is around, and sad when she leaves.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

New pic

It has been a long time since I upload my picture. Here:

Gotta study already, bye.

Oh, I forgot I got new song: 开始就不是

It supposed to sound happy, but I want it to be sad, so I added a different chorus to portray the meaning of the song.
As usual the second half of the song is very noisy, because I want to add a lot of stuff, but I'm too lazy to bother whether it's noisy.

Please use window media player only, the music is supposed to be a draft, there's no intention to perfect it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


At the verge of losing, U told me not to lose on street basketball, and I recovered, that day we were challenged by everyone until the day turned dark, and we were undefeated. At that moment, I felt like God walking among human.

I was made aggressive, I used to be a person that didn't care about winning or losing.

Now I'm labelled as competitive, is that a good thing or bad thing? I understand how people would feel about a person who is very competitive, they would most probably don't like it. But I hate the feeling of losing as well.

Losing for a silly game is nothing, but if losing for a real game, the feeling is bad.

I remember that day when my friend told me that words, "To play a real game is to win", I replied "But is win or lose really that matters?" He said "there's no meaning of entering a game and then not care about the outcome"

I think he meant at least we should aim for winning, not prepared for losing.

I have been labelled as competitive, I not sure it's a good thing. But I'll still strive for winning, and I will not be too apparent on that too. Regardless of what people think, it's the heart to win that determines the outcome of a game, if you don't have the heart to win, you are just depending on luck, and sheer skills is not enough in a lot of circumstances.

I'll be competitive, regardless of what you think.

But I know the limit, I'm not SO competitive to the stage that I'm loathed by people.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Be the stupid

(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:43:22 AM)
if u continue thinking about the girl
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:43:27 AM)
why you cant get her love
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:43:30 AM)
then u will negative
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:43:43 AM)
why not u dont think many people get pretty gf

晴天下の小谷 says: (12:43:46 AM)
but if i very like her?

(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:43:48 AM)
but they also will break 1 day
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:43:55 AM)
if you like her
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:43:59 AM)
she dont like you
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:03 AM)
it is very suffer
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:06 AM)
i face it before
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:13 AM)
but if you really like her
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:19 AM)
you can continue chase her
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:22 AM)
be a stupid
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:25 AM)
and wait for 1 year
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:29 AM)
she get a bf
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:33 AM)
then you find me to cry
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:44:38 AM)
because i already prepare to do that

晴天下の小谷 says: (12:44:42 AM)
when she gets a bf, i can faint u know
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:44:52 AM)
ok meng
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:44:56 AM)
I listen to u
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:45:01 AM)
i be the stupid

(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:05 AM)
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:10 AM)
i also be stupid now

晴天下の小谷 says: (12:45:11 AM)
i will find u and cry can?
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:45:18 AM)
I love being stupid

(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:19 AM)
no problem
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:45:22 AM)
i love ur plan
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:23 AM)
me too
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:45:25 AM)
i wan to be stupid

(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:28 AM)
after 5 years
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:35 AM)
you think about that
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:38 AM)
you tell urself
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:49 AM)
at least i have try my best to chase a girl that i love
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:54 AM)
although fail jor
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:45:59 AM)
but i do what i can do
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:46:18 AM)
is better than be a 逃兵

晴天下の小谷 says: (12:46:58 AM)
ur right
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:46:58 AM)
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:47:01 AM)
im too coward

(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:47:11 AM)
because that night i emo for wholde
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:47:19 AM)
i dono how to face her after i told her i like her
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:47:30 AM)
but i think for wholde day
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:47:32 AM)
i told myself
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:47:47 AM)
my world without her still will continue to run

晴天下の小谷 says: (12:48:20 AM)
u touch me meng.

(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:48:35 AM)
i appreciate the time i with her
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:48:43 AM)
i be a stupid
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:48:54 AM)
and try my best to give her what i can give her
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:49:05 AM)
although i know she still wont like me
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:49:07 AM)
this is me
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:49:32 AM)
i cant be the perfect one, but i am who i am

晴天下の小谷 says: (12:49:45 AM)
thank u for telling me this

(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:49:57 AM)
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:50:11 AM)
that day i want cry
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:50:14 AM)
but cant cry out
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:50:15 AM)

晴天下の小谷 says: (12:50:25 AM)
u good
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:50:29 AM)
but i like her
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:50:34 AM)
ur story touches me


(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:55:34 AM)
and then maybe she didnt accept u
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:55:42 AM)
u already become a better man that before
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:55:54 AM)
and this is ur resume to chase other girl
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:56:15 AM)
because ronald after 6months is better ronald that currnet ronald
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:56:37 AM)
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:56:42 AM)
i will remember ...

晴天下の小谷 says: (12:59:13 AM)
thanks meng..
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:59:19 AM)
(H)H@rryt30(H) says: (12:59:23 AM)
we are brother ma
晴天下の小谷 says: (12:59:34 AM)
En =)

I'll be the stupid.

When I put this song

Usually when I put this song, it means I'm going back to Malaysia soon.
This song, which is currently playing on my blog, is sort of my theme song, and I always play it during my trip back to Malaysia with my Ipod. It feels good to listen to it, while enjoying the paddy field up from airplane. I'll play it on piano too when I back.

But am I going back to Malaysia? Most probably not.
I'm playing this song because I damn miss Malaysia.

My friend asked me to be high class, don't respond to thing that people never intended to invite you. I had been stupid to ask permission to join for that trip for like 2-3 times and got rejected bluntly like shit, because I was kinda irrational that time after hearing who are going, and I lowered my self-esteem to ask her. The usual me wouldn't do that, but doesn't matter already.
After that, my friend invited me to go Sydney with him, and I've said yes.

I'll go Sydney with my friend and his friends who I don't know at all. Yes, that's how a true friend is, he knows I can mingle with anyone I like. There will be 6 of us going to Sydney, and it will be an awesome trip.

There's only one person I cant mingle with, that is the person I like her to be my gf.

Anyway, it will be a nice winter for me in Australia. I hope it will be better than Malaysia. Therefore I have to study hard to get good result, if not I'll feel too guilty to holiday also.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Stupid self-picture

As title.

I know what you are thinking, shuddap please, I'm just trying something new.
And I want to say 사랑해비。

Ok damn sad right now, I called back to my home just to wish my mom Happy Mother's Day,
Guess what!?! They all left to Shanghai for Holiday !!! And I didn't even know about it. My dad, mom, and two sisters they all went together, left my little sis at home and she told me that.

Super awesome, they are now happy at Shanghai, I just chat with my mom 5 days ago, they didn't even tell me. Because they sure know I will ask them not to go, and so they secretly go. Ok, I want go Ski camp already!! I don't care!!

I tried called them in Shanghai but didnt work.

I still wanna say:
Mom, Happy Mother's Day!!! I say this to you every year and never miss, I hope you can hear this in Shanghai. I wish I can kiss you like when I was in Malaysia every year. I love you mom!! Miss you!!

Friday, May 7, 2010


I'm free finally.

I confessed to her this morning and at the same time, I expressed my intention to give up on her too.

It wont happened if she never rejected my invitation for a meal, it all started when I was rejected for like 3 times. One thing I don't understand is why I couldn't have a simple meal with her as a normal friend at first, she just kept on rejecting me.

Basically, it shattered my confidence. It rendered me unable to talk to her normally over time.

But I finally freed myself from it, I no need to feel depressed anymore because of the reason that we cant communicate, not just that I'm damn happy and have this sense of big relief, because I feel free to flirt with anyone right now. =)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

What am I?

There were times when I question myself, what kinda person am I?

Last January, I was driving in Malaysia for 3 weeks with a 1 year expired driving licence. There were two occasions of police check out, and I wasn't a bit scare at all going through all that. Luckily they didn't ask me to produce my licence, if not I wouldn't be at Melbourne right now.

Because the last day when I was about to leave for Melbourne, I drove to my grandma house, speeding and with an expired licence. I had a hunch that there will be a police check out, and it did happen. There was a second police check out that day, and I drove passed them without any fear, I sorta gambled, and they didn't check my licence. If they did, I wouldn't be able to aboard the air plane to melbourne that afternoon.

That is the most recent one. I did a lot of law-breaking stuff before, right now I do less already when I was in Malaysia.
I drift my car, speed, illegal cutting, break traffic light, not following the road sign or line, basically I have committed a lot of traffic offences. Anything you could and couldn't think of, like I bolted (escape) from the police, at the same time not wearing seat belt, driving without licence, speeding, without IC, and failed bribery. (I escaped that without paying anything at all after got caught)

Just to clarify, that doesn't mean I'm not a competent driver. I have confident on my driving skills.

But I like to do things differently, I like to save time and speed. That is what driven me the most, the second one is I like the feeling of thrill. I like to drive without a licence, breaking traffic offences.

Most of the time, my dad covered up my asses. I'm so irresponsible as a son, but he knows what I'm doing, he doesn't approve of course. He has way to cancel the saman I always got, or stop the traffic police from issuing me a saman on the spot. I certainly don't want him to do that for me every time. It would be cool if one day I can break the traffic law without any liabilities attached to me. It's not that I don't respect the law, but traffic law is differently treated by me.

What makes me so daring? I don't know.
The last time when I was about to leave Malaysia for Melbourne, I still drove with expired licence and gone through police check out.

I just like the thrill from it. That's all I have to say.

Monday, May 3, 2010

New song~

It has been a long time since I post a new song here.
Here's the song I just finished:


I took the time I have after I finished my assignment to compose it.
It's not the best nor it's good, but at least I came out with something, hoping I can improve.

The song is getting more and more noisy, apparently midi is not enough for me already. I'm hoping I can learn how to make mp3 one day.