Sunday, September 13, 2009

A bad dream

This will be the last picture of me I put here, until I found my resolution.

I was running alone at night again just now, before I spoke with Ruby. The ouside was cold and windy, but I ran like nothing was holding me back. I listened to this song, A Bad Dream, over and over again with my Ipod touch, until I finally needed to sit down and rest to catch my breath, and where I sat I was looking at the big lake in front of me, under a lamp post.

I realised no one was in my mind. I have been alone for years, I generally closed my door to anyone even though I did open it once (in a blue moon), but eventually no one came in. It was then, I was thinking am I begin to have no feeling for anyone anymore, because I'm content. I might love only myself but no one, I don't want to have that kinda feeling, guess that explains why I keep taking photo of me, so I wont take photo anymore, until I grown back my hair or found my resolution.

I rejected a lot of people, I was too high demanding, and finally I'm alone. Sometimes I feel like somebody's soul is calling for me, I just don't know who. It screams sometimes, like that person is just like me out there, alone, frustrated. Is that why I was rejecting people all along? because it weren't they who made the call, that I had to answer.

I have to run again, I want to find my answer. It is not important, but it keeps me sane for living a lonely life, because I know there are still years to come. I finished running the largest campus in Australia, how far will I go?

4 comments:

XD said...

no~I'm not going to tell you who Im..
and yea u r the most wonderful person I ever met XD
and plz don't close yr blog ,it's the only way that I could know how yr life was.....
u r not alone though,u still got us.
btw u r having tones to be ulzzang so plz dont stop from pOSTing up yr ulzzang feel photo here XD

鲁比 said...

oh boy,you will meet that girl who is going to makes ur heartbeat goes really fast,and makes u fall in sweet love,again. u will not be alone =)

Just take it slow,and enjoy life,cheers.

没人妖 said...

dude,you can be what ever you want to be but just do not too over it because maybe once you too into it it is very hard to pull off and it will make you suffer when you try to stand back where you from.

男人是多情的动物也是容易心软的生物

Ryousuke said...

XD: I wont post any picture until I found my resolution, it wont takes long. Thanks anyway.

Ruby: Thanks, I do wish I can have that heartbeat, and I hope you will find it too. =)